The Union of the Snake
by Perminator
Summary: Harry and Ginny encounter a dangerous journey that may be their last!


So Someone Doesn't Sue Me: I don't own anything.  
  
"Oh Harry. I am so in love with you!" Ginny Weasly-Potter said ecstatically when Harry showed her the new swing set he bought their unborn child. "The colors are beautiful!" The swing set was colored in shades of brown.   
  
  
  
"I knew you would like it, my guinea. I saw it and I immediately thought of your gorgeous eyes, baby." Harry smiled and winked. Ginny was aroused.  
  
  
  
"Make love to me on our unborn child's swing set!" Ginny cried in ecstasy.  
  
  
  
"I will obey you, baby." Ginny and Harry proceeded to make whoopee on their unborn child's swing set. The neighbors banged on the walls. Old ladies complained loudly about the noise. Even the squirrels turned around.  
  
  
  
"Ooh!" Harry exclaimed. "Your hair tickles!"  
  
  
  
An hour later, they were exhausted. "I haven't made love like that since our trip to Live Aid in '86. I sure do love U2."  
  
  
  
"In the name of love, baby. Once more in the name of love." Harry winked and nodded in that used car salesman sort of way.  
  
  
  
"No more, my honey bunches. I've had all I can take today. I'm making love for two, you know." Ginny walked inside the house and sat down on their light blue gingham sofa imported from Sweden. It was a gift from God on their day of holy matrimony.  
  
  
  
The doorbell rang and Harry walked all the way from the outside to the inside to the door to answer it. It was Melvin, their nerdy neighbor.  
  
  
  
"Pardon me, Mr. Potter. Possess you in the least a glucose based compound entitled sugar?"  
  
  
  
"No." Harry replied. As soon as he shut the door, the doorbell rang again. It was their friendly, but awfully suspicious Spanish speaking neighbor, Alfredo Botones. "Hola Alfredo! ¿Como està?"  
  
  
  
"Don't patronize me, you stupid cracker. I've come here to advertise the new baby store I'm opening up in the red light district downtown in the city. It's called Knocked Up With Fun. The first day, everything is 50% off." Alfredo proceeded to hand Harry a flier with a baby and party balloons on it.  
  
  
  
"Gracias." Harry replied. "Adios." Alfredo replied with an obscene gesture.  
  
@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@  
  
The day of the opening of Knocked Up With Fun soon arrived. Ginny and Harry put on their Sunday best and took the minivan to red light district of the city. It was dark and scary and homeless people were at every corner.  
  
  
  
Ginny gasped. "Look at that man with the knife in his chest."  
  
  
  
Harry consoled her. "It's just a cardboard cutout, baby." The store was not hard to find. It was right next to the Brown Derby and Dirt Cheap Beer and Liquor. The selection of stores was beginning to resemble Missouri instead of their native United Kingdom.  
  
  
  
Alfredo was standing outside in a baby costume handing fliers to his oncoming customers. He greeted the happy couple and wept.  
  
  
  
Inside, the hit song "Pass the Dutchie" by Musical Youth was filling all the customers ears with joyful delight and hate at the same time. The decoration resembled an abandoned warehouse. It even had clever chalk outlines and splattered red walls that resembled the fantastic works of Jackson Pollack.  
  
  
  
"Look!" Ginny said as she held up a cute outfit. "It looks like a little carnival carney outfit. Look! It even has powdered sugar on it. Looks like our baby will be into making funnel cakes."  
  
  
  
"Everybody down!" A mean looking hoodlum yelled as he entered Alfredo's store with a muggle wand. "I want you all to put your clothes in this bag. I'm donating it to the agape house. If I donate a lot, I'll receive a smiley face key chain/flashlight."   
  
  
  
Ginny glanced at Harry's beautiful face. "Oh, but honey bunny, I don't want to give that dirty man my clothes. I paid good money for these at K-Mart. I don't want to see some hobos wearing my high style K-Mart clothes."  
  
  
  
The man came up to the happy couple and waved his muggle wand at them. "Take off your clothes or I shoot!" He said in a bad Shaft impersonation.  
  
  
  
"My wife doesn't want to, and you'll have to kill me befo¼" The man took Harry's words too seriously. He shot Harry five times in a split second. Ginny screamed and cried and karate chopped the muggle wand out of the bad Shaft impersonating man. The muggle wand flew in the air and the air resistance caused the trigger to pull and fatally wound the man in the head. Ginny grabbed the clothes she was going to buy and ran away to home. Alfredo cursed at her for not paying.  
  
  
  
@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@  
  
Ginny was not able to attend her husband's funeral, for her unborn child was being born on the same day. She had to choose which to attend, but unfortunately, the choice proved to be an easy one. Her friends took pictures of the funeral and if you put them all together, you can get a flipbook and it'll feel just like being there.  
  
  
  
Ginny and her unborn child both died in labor. Then the world was blown up by a gigantic bus that went under 50 miles per hour.  
  
The End.  
  
Or, is it?  
  
Yes. It is.  
  
Hoo ha! 


End file.
